November 21, 2024
I Want What She Has
LYSA TERKEURST
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“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30 (NIV)
Chances are, if you’re like me, you’ve struggled with comparison and envy.
It’s so sudden how these feelings come about. My house looks great … until a friend redecorates. Her clever color combination and crafty restoration abilities have created rooms that look as though they’re straight from a magazine. Suddenly my home feels outdated and plain.
It doesn’t take long for all I’m blessed with to pale in the face of comparison. I’m blinded from seeing what I do have in the face of what I don’t have. My heart is drawn into a place of ungratefulness and discontentment. As I assume everything is great for those who possess what I don’t, I become less and less thankful for what’s mine.
I forget the warning tucked in Proverbs 14:30: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” And here’s the real kicker … Things for the person I’m comparing myself to are almost never what they seem. Everybody has not-so-great sides to their lives.
So now, whenever I get an idyllic view of someone else’s life, I will often say out loud, “I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad.”
God has taught me a lot about how to nip comparison in the bud so it doesn’t develop into full-blown envy and jealousy. The statement above has been one of the greatest realizations God has given me. Every situation has both good and bad. When I want someone else’s good, I must realize I’m also asking for the bad that comes along with it. It’s a package deal. And usually if I’ll just give something enough time to unfold, I find myself thanking God I didn’t get someone else’s package.
One of the first times I came to understand this truth was in middle school when I met a beautiful girl at the children’s theater in my town. We were both budding child actors cast in a Christmas play. During rehearsals, I can remember seeing her long dancer’s legs move in ways my limbs never could. Her legs were muscular and lean and graceful.
One day there was an unusual pain in her left leg. And then a doctor’s appointment turned into a battery of tests that turned into a hospital stay that turned into a diagnosis: cancer. A surgery to remove a tumor turned into an amputation, which turned into a complete life change. Her world became filled with words no child should ever have to know: chemotherapy, prosthetics, hair loss and walking canes.
As a young girl, I was stunned by the whole thing. Especially because I clearly remember night after night watching her glide across the stage, asking God for legs exactly like hers.
I am not equipped for someone else’s good.
I am not equipped for someone else’s bad.
I am not equipped to be someone else in any way.
I am, however, perfectly equipped to be me.
I don’t want to paint the picture that every good thing someone else has will end with a tragedy. That’s not the case. But maybe instead of focusing on all we lack, today we can choose gratitude.
And if that seems unrealistic for you right now because of something hard you’re facing, remember this: Choosing gratitude right in the middle of what’s hard isn’t denial. But it is choosing to do only what can be done today. Gratitude isn’t something we have to contain within ourselves. Maybe it’s something we experience and express right in the middle of it all — good, bad and everything in between.
Dear Lord, thank You for only entrusting me with what I have and who I am. Help me see that even the smallest moments really do contain opportunities for gratitude. Give me the courage and the grace to do what pleases You. I want to do Your will and experience more of You in this season. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Life is unexpected sometimes. We know this. And yet … we still have a driving sense inside of us that if we just know enough, worry enough, research enough, plan enough, arrange enough, talk things through enough, and stay ahead of things enough, we will be OK, our people will be safe, and life can go on like it should. It’s wise to plan for the future and be responsible. But when our desire to be responsible crosses over into the impossible task of controlling the uncontrollable, we will find ourselves exhausted, on the edge of burnout, with high stress and anxiety levels. Sign up to receive Lysa TerKeurst’s FREE resource “Am I Trying To Control the Uncontrollable?” filled with reflection questions, prompts, scriptures and more. Download now!
Find real-life encouragement when you connect with Lysa TerKeurst here on Instagram.
Galatians 6:3-5, “If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load” (NIV).
What is something in your life you are choosing renewed gratitude for today?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2024 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
